A Lost Soul

Realizing your inability to realize yourself is by far the most annoying state of mind i have found myself to be in. i almost managed to laugh in self pity !

well the problem is i have a Ted Mosby brain. sans the limelight of a dumb sitcom, a passion for anything, if you don't count ridiculing everything around me. i know, that's pretty messed up. now being a troubled kid of the magnitude described above, i go into a state of eternal confusion and continuous self critique leading to pandemonium inside my pea sized cerebrum. pity me.

that being said, I've never felt the want to be someone else, except for that dude whose been dating Rachel Bilson. my troubles although mammoth sized, are nothing compared to the woes of those normal people. i mean I'm glad i don't sweat over trivial yet seemingly life changing issues such as public love, fan following, money, girlfriends, fame and game. alright fine, sometimes i do, but mostly I'm okay. a weakling like me couldn't have survived them, imagine the responsibilities. updating photos on Facebook, remembering names, dealing with insecurity, smiling all the time, having to stay cool forever. whoa, that's too much to ask, I'm no superman. no no, I'm better off with my problems, as i await a slow painful lonely death and till then try to somehow fit into the sane world. i can almost hear myself scoff at the thought - "haaah, good luck with that !" I have come to believe it ain't gonna be easy trying to remain inconspicuous amongst the plebeian people, with all of my unique trivia and eccentricity.

God help me.