Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Three Vice Monkeys

You'll have probably met Mizaru, Kikazaru and Iwazaru, The Three Wise Monkeys. For centuries, they've helped us deal with evil, albeit in a peaceful way. Thank you.

But now, thanks to WikiLeaks, I bring to you'll, The Three Vice Monkeys, the actual evil monkeys, that the aforementioned monkeys ask to be weary of.

1. The First Vice Monkey : Friends

These are found growing around you, in plenty, they appear friendly (well cause they are friends !) but beware, are very dangerous. They have perfected the art of deception. They can wreak havoc with their two famous mighty weapons - undetectable by even the urine test, jealousy and their unmatchable stupidity. Their strength is alarming, and with all the unprotected monkeying around, their number is growing in leaps and bounds. But in all fairness, you and I, are somebody's monkeys too. We all have been instructed by 'The Ethical Protocol for Ideal Apelike Behavior' wherein say, article 22 states "A Monkey in Need is a Monkey Indeed " or article 37, " Monkeys before Donkeys " in parallel to 'bros before hoes' but lets face it. being the baboons that we are, we always mess things up. A word of advice, don't trust and don't lust.

2. The Second Vice Monkey : Trends of the Society

This monkey, has repeatedly and consistently, ruined the quality of life for all apekind. It spreads like an epidemic, cursing one and all. Some notorious examples are, engineering, facebook, religion, online matrimony. already running short on the brain supplies, this monkey influences and dictates our behavior to an irreparable extent. With the ever increasing list of faux pas and dos-and-donts, it's hard to not act like a brute. You can't let yourself feel insecure if you don't know about cars or politics or sitcoms or parties or technology or sports or music or movies or wall street or geography or everything else in the world. geeesh, it's not like we're an encyclopaedia. But unfortunately, to be the dude of the society and not an outcast, you gotta know it all. You can always pray to our God,
Mojo Jojo, for some help. Or there's always Google. It'd be best to not let this monkey get into your head.

3. The Third Vice Monkey : Love

This symbolic monkey is the most lethal of all. His Business Agent, Cupid, will hit you when you least expect. Don't let your guards down for even a second. We've all heard of great ambitious monkeys perish like dust when up against this mighty demonic King Kong. also, may i remind you, as the movie story goes, this demon itself, was killed by love, ironically speaking. yet another proof of "The beauty killed the beast" therefore it be of utmost importance, that you protect yourself. this very threat to our primate existence has been placed on the top, followed by Osama and Global warming. The World Health Organisation (WHO) has recommended the following measures - no exchanging phone numbers, no late night chatting, no gifts, no kind gestures, no CCDs, no using ":*", no nothing. Just be monkeys, for Mojo Jojo's sake.

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